The Potential of Matrescence [Part 1]

[This blog post is part 1 of a 2 part series]

The process of becoming a mother has a name: Matrescence.

Matrescence is the developmental process of becoming a mother. This period of transition changes a woman physically, hormonally, psychologically, socially, and even politically. In many ways, it mirrors adolescence: ‘Matrescence like adolescence’ as coined by Aurelie Athan in 2016.

The term "Matrescence" was first introduced about 40 years ago by anthropologist Dana Raphael, but it only began to gain serious attention as a field of research in the last decade. This delayed recognition is surprising, considering how critical this process is for 80% of the world’s female population—who eventually become mothers. What the research did find is groundbreaking.

Matrescence Matters

It’s crucial for the world to understand and acknowledge this developmental process but, at present, it’s not widely recognized. There are many aspects of Matrescence that we need to learn about, accept, and address—particularly on a societal level (a topic for another post).

Matrescence as an experience hardly ever starts out as an easy, enjoyable time. Most women becoming mothers will go through a phase of feeling uncertain, feeling lost, feeling overwhelmed, anxious, bad, grief, etc. This can happen as early as conception (trying to conceive), going through pregnancy, birth, early post-partum, or the years after. There are so many moments in this journey that can initially feel too much to navigate. We have to acknowledge the intricacies and difficulties of the process, we have to talk about it and we have to support women.

Beyond ‘just’ understanding the process, it’s vital to recognize the potential that Matrescence holds. If we had an understanding of both the ‘process’ and the potential outcome, we would be much better equipped for the monumental shift that is happening, and embrace the beauty and power that is potentially part of it. Join me in being stunned by the perfect design of nature.

The Potential of Matrescence

In the last decade, research in the fields of neuroscience, sociology, developmental psychology, and existential psychology has started to take off. Let’s look at some of the mind-blowing findings.

1. Enhanced Neuroplasticity

The first finding is that we have a unique window of opportunity for learning and growth through motherhood.

Neuroscience research has shown that both the act of giving birth as well as being the primary caregiver to a newborn makes the brain extremely neuroplastic for up to three years following birth. This is the only time in adulthood we have access to this level of neuroplasticity and only comparable to the brain’s adaptability during infancy and puberty. [Ruth Feldman, 2019 & The nurture revolution, Greer Kirshenbaum]. Evolutionarily, this makes sense; caregivers need to learn rapidly to care for a new human being, literally to keep it alive. What’s particularly fascinating is that the neuroplasticity in a mother’s brain is concentrated in the ‘social’ areas, meaning that she can literally rewire her relationships with herself and the world around her [Hoekzema et al. 2018].

2. Opportunity for Transformational Growth

The second finding is that the opportunity for transformational growth is baked into the ‘design’ of Matrescence.

Transitional experiences, such as Matrescence, offer unique windows of opportunity for adaptive growth, allowing individuals to surpass their previous levels of functioning. The transition to motherhood is described in the literature as a period of maturation marked by greater complexity of mind. [Hartmann & Zimberhoff, 2005]

In a groundbreaking study by Aurelie Athan, one of the founders of the field of Matrescence, it was shown that some women experience mental "flourishing" as a result of mothering. This flourishing doesn’t happen because these women had an easy time or a smooth birth experience, but because of the transformational growth they undergo through mothering. These women experienced decreased negative emotions over time, with their positive emotions spiraling upwards—a phenomenon supported by Frederickson’s Broaden and Build Theory.

Athan’s study also found that demographic and socio-economic factors did not determine the likelihood of flourishing. Even mothers who suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety were part of the flourishing group over time. This doesn’t mean the flourishing mothers didn’t face stress or daily struggles. Instead, it indicates that through their experiences of mothering, they were able to grow adaptively, mature, and develop a greater complexity of mind over time. As the study summarizes:

“An effortless experience of mothering may be hedonically satisfying, but may not be the most worthwhile in terms of personal growth. Her growth may be a manifestation of her ability to welcome both positive and negative aspects of mothering as beneficial opportunities. Transformative experiences are not always ‘all-good’ and include the ‘mixed-feelings’ women experience.” [ A. Athan, Postpartum Flourishing, 2011]

The Paradox of Motherhood

When a woman becomes a mother, she gains both a new baby and a new way of life. However, with these gains also come losses—a sense of the ‘old me’ fades, and life is never the same again. The paradox of motherhood is that with every gain, there is also a loss. They are two sides of the same coin. The mother’s meaning in life changes with the birth of her baby [Claire Arnold Baker, 2015].

It is in this paradox that the growth lies. Part of the ‘complexity of mind’ is to be able to embrace and hold paradox.  

As Brene Brown writes in ‘Atlas of the heart’:

Paradox is not an emotion. Much like cognitive dissonance, it starts with thinking but brings in emotion as we start to feel the tension and pull of different ideas. In the case of Paradox, our brain wants to solve the puzzle. However, paradoxes can't be fully resolved using rationality and logic - we need to allow seeming contradictions to coexist in order to gain deeper understanding. In this way, paradoxes force us to think in expansive ways and lean into vulnerability. 

Being able to hold the tension and pull is a huge invitation in motherhood. Whether it is the pull of our kids' demands vs our own, the pull of our work demands vs our family, or even the pull of having to go to the toilet while the baby is screaming. Motherhood is full of it, and it invites us to grow into dealing with it better. And once we have learned to do that within our mothering, we can hold paradox in the broader world as well. Imagine what a world we could live in if more people would be able to hold paradoxes and wouldn’t need an either/or solution to every problem.

3. Motherhood is leadership

The third major revelation is that, in part because of the two findings above, mothering provides the same developmental opportunity that we need in leadership development. Mothers can literally grow their leadership potential through their mothering experience. It is from this insight that Matermorphosis has been founded. You can read all about this in part 2 of this blog series.

Flourishing is not a given and not an expectation

To be crystal clear, it is not a woman’s fault if she is not flourishing. The reality is that our society is not set up for mothers to flourish in many ways. Dr. Sophie Brock distinguishes between the act of mothering (the care you provide for your children) and the institution of Motherhood (the societal expectations, traditions, and systems surrounding being a mother). Currently, Motherhood is structured in a way that makes mothering challenging for many. Not because the mom is not ‘doing it right’, but because her surroundings are not set up for her and her support is not sufficient.

There is significant work to be done to make flourishing accessible to everyone. But by recognizing that flourishing is possible, and understanding how some women are flourishing through matrescence, we can empower these women to work toward changing the systems so that flourishing becomes available to all on Mother Earth.

Are you ready to embrace the potential of Matrescence? Either by diving into your matrescence journey or by spreading the word??

This blog is written by Babette Lockefeer, founder of Matermorphosis. Matermorphosis is here to lead ambitious women who became mothers to their potential through her Matrescence experience. Check out the online programs specifically designed to support women through their Matrescence and achieve the potential to flourish.