Thanks for visiting this page. It means that you care about the way I look at inclusivity and what the values of Matermorphosis are. I'm very happy to share with you what my thoughts are. And, as we all are, I'm still learning and might shift my perspective along the way. I'm open to receiving (respectful) feedback .
Parenthood, motherhood, mothers, fathers, others. There is an important debate ongoing about the inclusivity of certain terminology, and I want to explain my train of thought here.
You are a mother when you are caring for a child (and want to be seen as their mother). Whether that child is a biological child, an adopted child, a child through surrogacy, a stepchild or a foster child. When I use the word 'Mother' in Matermorphosis, I am including all of those ways of becoming a mother. There are subtle differences to these experiences, especially in the pregnancy phase. In the main program, I have included 2 different versions of the video's when we are talking about the physicality of Matrescence, one with information for women who physically went through pregnancy, and one for women who became mothers when they held the child in their arms for the first time, to honor and respect those differences.
Mothers, I'm using this word a LOT. For me, and in the context of Matermorphosis, everyone who feels called upon by this word is included, regardless of your (birth)gender. I am also using the word woman a lot, because for the vast majority of people, a mother also identifies as a woman (regardless of birth gender). If you self-identify as a mother but not as a woman, I want to specifically invite you here to feel included when I'm speaking about mothers.
I'm also talking about partners. I want to stress here that this includes all partners of all sexual orientations and genders. I also want to point out that non-partnered mothers are extremely welcome as well.
I use the terms Motherhood and Mothering in my work, as well as primary and secondary caregiver where that is a helpful distinction. I include information about the 'partner' where relevant.
From where we stand today, the experience of a mother is still vastly different than that of a father. Not just in terms of the physicality, but also in terms of the social roles and expectations that are placed on mothers vs fathers. As Matrescence scholar Andrea O'Reilly says: To use the blanket term of 'parents', omits the important lived experience that is exactly the thing that mothers need to start understanding in order to break free of the social conditioning and social structures that are not serving them, and keeping the division between fathers and mothers in place. Let's aim for a future in which we can actually use parents as a term, because we have overcome the disbalance, through naming and understanding the current lived experience of mothers.
Inclusivity also includes access to information and programs. Matermorphosis is a commercial business, which provides income for my family. Nevertheless, I have an intention to be mindful of accessibility for people with varying levels of income. Some of the information I share inside the programs is also available through resources that are accessible for free via this website, as well as in my representation on Social Media and email newsletter. Besides that I have taken the following steps towards full inclusivity:
Around ~10% of the spots in my main program eMErgence are accessible on a full scholarship. This means that people in certain situations (please see FAQ on the program page for full information) will be able to participate for free, depending on the amount of paid participants in the program. I find it very important to ensure that temporary situations do not hinder women from fulfilling their potential. I also think that having a diverse perspective in group programs is important and beneficial to all participants.
I offer payment plans for individuals to spread out the course fee. I do not charge interest on the payment plan. I want to believe that people who can, pay in full at once, so that I can continue to offer interest - free payment plans to all participants in need. I believe that this kind of solidarity is simple and necessary. That also means that I charge a slightly higher price for those sponsored by their organizations. In essence, the organizations help pay for the accessibility of others without those secondary benefits.
Inclusivity also means thinking about those near and far. Since the early beginning, Matermorphosis has been sponsoring the social cause Dara Europe in their projects in Cambodia. Dara is already providing support for over 15 years, focussed on children and their mothers, as their leadership is very much needed!